— An Invitation to Witness —
Lina & Felix
5 · September · 2026

Two people. One wild decision. No ragrets.

— Days
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— Hours
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— Minutes
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— Seconds
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The Lore

Our Story

A completely unembellished account of how we arrived at this improbable decision.

The First Encounter

We met under circumstances that in retrospect were either fate or poor planning. Felix was there. Lina was also there. Eye contact was made. Nothing was the same after that, mostly because Felix kept showing up.

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The First Date

Felix chose the restaurant. It was fine. Lina chose the wine. It was excellent. This dynamic has persisted ever since and is expected to continue indefinitely, for better or for worse — the latter being legally defined below.

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Moving In Together

A bold experiment in cohabitation. Early results: one of us loads the dishwasher correctly. The other one is Felix. Ongoing negotiations have so far been inconclusive but peaceful.

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The Proposal

Felix asked the question. Lina said yes, after a pause that Felix maintains was "thoughtful" and Lina maintains was "for dramatic effect." The ring, however, was perfect. No pause required.

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5 September 2026

The conclusion of a long research phase and the beginning of a legally binding partnership. We look forward to your attendance at the signing ceremony. Light refreshments will be provided. Also champagne. Mostly champagne.

2026
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Operational Briefing

The Day

14:00

Guests Arrive

Please be on time. Felix will be nervous enough without the added uncertainty of a headcount.

14:30

Ceremony

The part everyone came for. Approximately 30 minutes. Crying is permitted. Ugly crying is celebrated.

15:15

Cocktail Hour

Drinks, canapés, and milling about. An excellent opportunity to introduce yourself to people you'll see once every five years.

17:00

Reception & Dinner

Seated dinner, speeches of varying quality, and the formal consumption of a significant amount of food and wine.

21:00

Dancing Until Further Notice

The band has been briefed. The floor will be cleared. Sensible shoes are advised, or alternatively, excellent commitment.

Venue


Your Beautiful Venue

Address —
Dress Code — Cocktail attire. Garden party chic. Something you won't regret in the photos.
Parking —
Nearest Station —
Investment Opportunities

The Registry

We have everything we need. What we offer instead is the rare opportunity to formalise your support of this union through our tiered recognition programme. Benefits are non-transferable. Status is eternal.

🥉 Bronze Associate Supporter
  • Your name written in the guestbook in standard ink
  • A warm but non-committal smile from the couple
  • Eligible to eat the bread rolls
  • We will remember you. Probably.
🥈 Silver Verified Patron
  • Your name written in the guestbook in italic
  • Genuine eye contact during the toast
  • Access to the dessert table (second pass)
  • Upgraded smile. Possibly a nod.
🥇 Gold Esteemed Benefactor
  • Name mentioned verbally in a speech
  • Affectionately, with appropriate emphasis
  • Priority access to the photo booth
  • Felix will remember your birthday (once)
  • Official "Good Person" status, notarised in our hearts
💎 Platinum Executive Partner
  • Dedicated paragraph in the wedding speech
  • Front-row-adjacent seating (ceremonially significant)
  • A framed photo of Lina & Felix for your home
  • Lina will follow you back on Instagram
  • Lifetime bragging rights at all future family events
◆ Black Diamond Founding Elite Investor
  • Executive seating (you may bring a cushion)
  • Full speech paragraph. Your own arc.
  • Naming rights to the first houseplant
  • Annual "State of the Marriage" briefing email
  • Lina & Felix owe you a dinner. In writing.
  • Permanent status in the family mythology
  • We will name a star after you. Unverified, but sincere.

All contributions are deeply appreciated and entirely voluntary.
Tiers are self-assessed. We will not audit. Probably.

♥ Contribute via PayPal ◆ Contribute via Stripe
Frequently Asked Questions

Your Concerns,
Addressed.

Is this really happening?+
Yes. We have checked multiple times. The venue is booked, the invitations are printed, and Felix has already bought the suit. There is no going back.
Is the open bar truly open?+
The bar is open within the parameters established by the budget committee (Lina) and subject to the discretion of the Head of Logistics (also Lina). Champagne is unconditionally available. After that, proceed with cautious optimism.
What should I wear?+
Smart to cocktail attire. Jeans are not encouraged. White is reserved for Lina, and for Lina alone — wearing white will result in a permanent but lovingly maintained grudge. Hats are welcomed and, in fact, encouraged. Large ones especially.
Can I bring a plus one?+
If your invitation says +1, then yes. If it does not say +1, then we love you but seating is finite and the caterers will not be negotiating. We suggest you use the time to work on your independence. This is our gift to you.
Are children welcome?+
Children are welcome in the abstract and celebrated in principle. In practice, the evening programme is best suited to guests who can be reliably expected to remain in their seats during the speeches. Please consult your own conscience and the relevant child's track record.
Will there be a seating chart?+
Yes. It has been optimised over seventeen iterations. It accounts for family dynamics, romantic histories, and at least two known ongoing feuds. Please trust the process. Do not move your place card. We will know.
What music will be played?+
Music has been carefully curated for the evening. Song requests submitted on the RSVP form will be reviewed by the Committee (Felix) and approved by the Senior Committee (Lina). Requests for "Wonderwall" will be acknowledged with warmth and then quietly filed away.
Can I give a speech?+
Speeches have been pre-assigned following a competitive selection process. Unsolicited speeches may be delivered at your own risk. We recommend a minimum of four minutes, a maximum of eight, and the avoidance of any story involving Felix and a holiday prior to 2019.
What happens if it rains?+
We have a plan. The plan involves a marquee, a contingency marquee, and Lina's iron will. Weather has been informed of the date and advised to act accordingly. We are cautiously confident in its compliance.
Are you registered anywhere else?+
No other registry exists. We considered one but concluded that our tiered sponsorship programme offered a more meaningful and narratively coherent guest experience. We stand behind this decision. Contributions to the Black Diamond tier remain available.
What if I can no longer attend?+
Please let us know as soon as possible via the RSVP form or by direct message. We will be briefly sad, then rapidly practical. Your chair will be reallocated. Your plate, however, will almost certainly still be eaten.
Will you be going on honeymoon?+
Yes. The destination is being kept discreet to protect it from unsolicited opinions. What we can confirm is that it will involve sunshine, no itinerary, and the temporary suspension of all parental advisory alerts regarding "settling down."
Wedding Entertainment — I

Felix Eats Lina

An eternal pursuit. Now a video game.

— Wedding Entertainment —

Felix Eats Lina

An eternal pursuit. Now a video game.

Linas Consumed
0
Speed Level
1

Ready, Felix?

Use arrow keys or WASD to move.
Eat Lina. Don't eat yourself.
The wedding depends on it.

Arrow Keys or WASD to move · P to pause

↑
←
↓
→
Wedding Entertainment — II

The Royal Match

A game of strategy. A metaphor for marriage.

— Wedding Entertainment —

The Royal Match

A game of strategy. A metaphor for marriage.

Current Turn
Felix's Move

The board is set. Felix moves first. As tradition demands.

Felix's Captures
Lina's Captures
Move History
—
The Royal Court

Checkmate

Pawn Promotion

A Felix has reached the other side. Choose a new form.

Formal Confirmation of Attendance

RSVP

Kindly respond by . Late responses will be accepted but gently judged.

Received.

Your RSVP has been logged, your preferences noted, and your enemies duly recorded.
We look forward to celebrating with you on 5 September 2026.


— Lina & Felix